Someone: why do you think so badly of yourself?
Me: fuck, I dunno, maybe because I’ve been told these things from, I dunno, fucking birth?
I am Ready for my Close Up - Derek Jarman, Super8, 1972
Someone: why do you think so badly of yourself?
Me: fuck, I dunno, maybe because I’ve been told these things from, I dunno, fucking birth?
effect of my parental abuse: I HATE intrusive noise. The sound of a door unlocking (even if it’s just my roommate). Just knocking. Footsteps in the morning sounding too close to my door. The sound of cars pulling up. The ding on my phone when they contact me. I associate it with the Vague and Uncomfortable Badness. Even at college, I hear that unlocking noise and my whole body habitually tenses up. I wish for the day that that sound no longer scares me but means that someone I love is here.
Hmu if you like sad girls who snack a lot
no I’m not crying there’s just a little bit of I Feel Fucking Abandoned in my eye
“I’m not sad, but the boys who are looking for sad girls always find me. I’m not a girl anymore and I’m not sad anymore. You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.”— Warsan Shire (via rabbitinthemoon)
You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me
I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me
I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.
did I hallucinate that or did I actually do that: the movie